超濃縮!やさしい英語会話 (24) Battle of the Sexes

Posted by: huepod

8月の4週間は、恒例の「超濃縮!やさしい英語会話」です。この12年間に配信した359本の「やさしい英語会話」よりエピソードを厳選し、毎回4本分を濃縮してお届けします。ナチュラルスピードの会話をスクリプトとともにお楽しみください。今回は"Battle of the Sexes"というテーマで、異性をめぐるあれこれにまつわるエピソードを集めました。

*** Script ***

やさしい英語会話 (287) What is Love?

M: Ah! It hurts!

W: What does?!

M: Not knowing what to do with everything.

W: Um… please elaborate. I have no idea what you're talking about.

M: You see, I went to see a psychiatrist. I felt like I'm going crazy!

W: About what?! You need to be more specific than that!

M: I said it felt crazy. Then again, maybe it was supposed to make you feel like that.

W: I can't believe I have to ask this again. What is IT?

M: The thing that hurts! There's something inside me, right smack in the middle that just aches sometimes.

W: Your chest? You have chest pain? Um… what do you call it: Heartburn?

M: It sounds like it, but not quite! Yes, yes… something about my heart, and a burning sensation. Am I dying?

W: What? Why did you go to a psychiatrist instead of a cardiologist then?

M: Because she said I have to talk it out, or else I just might suffer from a heart attack!

W: And did you talk it out? What did she say?

M: She gave me a medical prescription.

W: What did she prescribe for you?

M: She said she prescribes the person who makes me feel this way.

W: WHO did that to you? Let's get him or her!!

M: Well, that would be… YOU.

(Written by Bea Jianne Roque)

やさしい英語会話 (303) How to Get the Girl

(In the library)
M: (shouts) Hey, you! I need you!

W: (harsh whisper) Hey, keep it down a bit! This is NOT the place to get all ballistic. I'm trying to study here!

M: Sorry. Just got carried away. I've been hooked on this crazy book, and I had to say that line out loud to feel fine. It's like… when you really want it to end already, but no, you can't let it go just yet? Actually, I'm still halfway done, but it's all so crazy. I think I don't have enough energy to continue reading.

W: But you have the strength to shout? Inside the library?

M: I needed it. I told you! Almost had a cardiac arrest, if I didn't do it. Besides, it's a good thing you're the only one who heard.

W: We're the only people in the room!

M: Exactly! Which is why I yelled. To get your attention.

W: I told you: I'm studying right now. Maybe some other time.

M: But this is the only time I can get you alone! That makes all the difference.

W: I... I don't understand.

M: I've been seeing you here for the past two months and I know you read plenty of books around here. And, obviously, you remember me, because we had eye contact just last Monday. Then I managed to smile a little on Tuesday, but you didn't notice. Wednesday, I waved from my corner over there; still not effective. Thursday, I tried walking past your usual desk, and you're quite… oblivious. From Friday till the weekend I was trying to think of what to do. I figured reading this could get you to notice.

W: I, uh, was merely trying to be polite. And you haven't really read the book. I may be "oblivious" but I can tell one thing: You've been reading the book upside down. Haha!

M: Ah! I blew it. Um, Can I…try again next week?

(Written by Bea Jianne Roque)

やさしい英語会話 (314) Life Is Tough for Girls, Too

W: I don't know what's wrong with me these days.

M: What happened?

W: This morning I told myself I'm going to try and be happy and not let anything *get me down. A few minutes later, I fell!

M: What? How? Where did you fall?

W: Right across from *the Student Plaza when I was about to go left. Ha ha. To think: I was on the way to the gym!

M: Were you hurt? Any *bruises?

W: Yeah. I think I was *bleeding internally.

M: That's terrible! Are you OK now? Does it hurt?

W: A bit.

M: You didn't go to the gym after that, right? I mean you went to the health office to get it treated, yes?

W: Of course I went to the gym! Who do you think I am? *Skipping my gym routine because of a little pain? Pfft. I even ran on the *treadmill for an hour!

M: Hey, you said you were bleeding internally. That's something more serious than a bruise, I *reckon?!

W: Well, nothing to worry about. Surprisingly, gym is medicine. I'm fine now.

M: I've never heard of such a thing. Hey, can we make this clear? You fell? And WHAT actually did you *hurt?

W: My heart, friend! I saw the guy I *had a crush on for months. He was with another girl! They both looked all *clingy and sweet together! I just couldn't take it, so I went exercising!

M: Ah! Why did we have this conversation?

(Written by Bea Jianne Roque)

やさしい英語会話 (327) Changing Sexes

(In the beginning, each person is in a different place.)
M: Where… where am I...? Wait. I feel… different… My skin feels so rough… Oh, NOT good. (looking in the mirror) Ahhhh…. Wait. I… I changed… into a man?? Oh, my god!

W: Hey, where am I…? Wait. I feel different… My chest feels… heavier… (looking in the mirror) Ahh… What? I’m a woman?? Ah!!

M: Oh, good that I found his student ID card. His name is… Yamamoto? A 2nd-year student in the Engineering Department at Hiroshima University. Gosh, what should I do? First, I need to find myself! Hope he doesn’t make a mistake with MY BODY. I’d hate to be pregnant now!

W: Wait, how do I put on this bra? Oh, this is her student ID card! Let’s see… Akari, a 3rd-year student in the Faculty of Literature. Where should I go? Ah! I’ve got to find her. Shoot! It’s so freakin’ hard to wear women’s clothes!

(Both of them heading towards the campus)

M: I hope he didn’t go to the class ahead of me. Where are you!!

(They pass each other)

M, W: Wait!! Stop!!

W: Aren’t you Akari? I’m Yamamoto, the original owner of your body! Please give me back my body!

M: Yeah, I’m Akari. Wait! What’s that messed-up make-up on your face? You also didn’t put on a bra? You’re ruining my body! Oh no!!!

W: I’ve never done any make-up in my entire life. Ah! The class bell’s going to ring soon. Akari, don’t forget to submit my fluid dynamics report.

M: Hey, I don’t even know what fluid dynamics is! I’m so sorry! By the way, I have a seminar about Shakespearean sonnets, so be ready for that!

W: Oh, no! I don’t know ANYTHING about Shakespeare, or literature! Why did it turn out like this… Why did our bodies get swapped!!?

M, W: Oh god!! Someone please save us!!

(Written by Kyoung Jo)

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